You give a lot of good food for thought here and some of what you suggest I am already doing.
Ironic that you mention adoptions. I have a seventy-something cousin born to a an Aunt by her first husband. My cousin was very young when his parents divorced. His mother remarried and the second husband legally adopted my cousin - obviously changing his surname. My cousin was born Paramore and is now Ruddy. Cousin Ruddy has (now adult) children who are also Ruddy's. I've never met the children.
As a matter of FTM I have listed my cousin and both of his "fathers" making the appropriate designations of "Biological" and "Adopted". But as a matter of genealogy what is the status of these children? Legally, they are Ruddy's - their birth-names. Biologically, they are Paramore's.
What are your thoughts on this?