I've been using FTM for 15 years (before Ancestry.com bought it), multiple versions. My current version is FTM 2012. I've got nearly a thousand individuals in my tree. I'm only now thinking about uploading my tree to ancestry.com.

I have a relative who is the real family genealogist and she already has a tree uploaded to ancestry.com.

1) Can my tree be merged/shared with her tree on ancesty.com in any way? (I've seen this asked in the forums many times but the answers have been totally confusing, and apparently changing all the time.) I think we should have 95% of the same individuals in both trees so importing her data into my offline FTM database is less of the concern for me, but is there a way to do that too?

2) Her tree data does not conform to what I consider "standardized" genealogy data structures. I know everybody is allowed to maintain their tree however they want but there are some generally universal norms, like people should normally be indexed by their birth (or childhood) surnames - not their married surnames. (I don't want to start a debate on that topic.) So my question is, if I am able to merge/share the same family tree on ancestry.com will I be able to go through each individual import one by one for the hundreds of individuals where we overlap, so I can choose and maintain my "proper" naming conventions and other such data structures of my choice? Same question for FTM imports?