Don't quit looking! Just because some family members have thought it best at the time to not share these secrets, time passes and changes the feelings within any family. We all want our family, children and grandchildren to believe we are without guilt and are wonderful people that never do wrong. If these secrets are shared, the cat's out of the bag. Just because we have negative stories uncovered doesn't mean we aren't proud of where we've come from and want to know more. We each have the freedom of choice as to whether to associate with those family members we disagree with or not but it doesn't change our family history. Every family has some sort of secret, some worse than others and, on the other side, every family has some wonderful things that deserve to be known and shared. If you never dig, you never find those stories either. Sure you never discover that what the family believes is your aunt's child is really your cousin's illegitimate child BUT you also never find that your great-grandparents were wonderful foster parents to 20 orphans. You never discover that your gr.gr.uncle founded the first church in that small western town....you never learn that your gr.gr.gr.grandparents lived only a mile from where you now live.

Keep up the search and don't give up just because you don't get answers now. You'll never break down that wall unless you keep at it - no one is going to come up to you 2 years from now and say "I remember you asking about....". If I had taken my family's word about my father being a 'worthless bum' and given up asking questions, I would not now know I have 2 more sisters, another brother and 5 nieces and nephews that I never knew about! I also would not know that the rest of my family were wonderful people with wonderful stories and lots of love to share.

Keep asking questions and keep looking to the Lord for guidance....the wall will break sometime and the answers will flood in!

Happy hunting! Lyresa