How sad, Melv! All of this avoidance and denial of family ties, and the blocking of blood kindred ...

My paternal grandmother was adopted - as now can be seen through viewing my public tree, though my first and true wish was to keep her situation private. When my father tested at 23andMe, almost a year ago, we made a connection to a gentleman who was deemed by that company to be related to Dad in the second- to third-cousin range. I shared a few communications with this cousin, but since then, he has been silent. Perhaps he is busy with other aspects of life, beyond the long-ago doings of his ancestors. He also may have been disappointed to learn that there may have been an illegitimate birth in his family. I since have found that our connection with this man probably is a bit further back in time, as there was some intermarriage amongst his folk.

My experience, since testing here, is that even when a tree is kept private, matches eventually will suspect that they relate through the line of the adoptee - if the tree is shared with them. One benefit, I suppose, of making my grandmother's adoption public, is in people being able to see that she didn't have horns or anything ... that she was a brought into a loving family and that she lived a long and happy life.