As an adoptive mother of 7, I have always told my children that I would help them find their birth families once they were 18, only if they wanted to do so. All of my children came from abusive homes/backgrounds, so In response to your question about taking back your name you were born with, I feel that if you had a loving relationship with your adoptive family, changing your name back would only hurt and disappoint them. In our case, it would not only be a slap in the face, but would show that the many years we spent loving and raising them were not appreciated. We kept the names our children were born with, with the exception of 2, because they wanted the names changed. As far as the name being a 'gift' your birth family gave you, I do agree, IF you came from a birth family that simply could not raise you for whatever reasons. When a child comes from an abusive background, I believe they would want to distance themselves from that pain, and dwell in the love and comfort of their new name and family.