How Great is your Grandfather?
A novel approach to describing family relationships


In teaching family history over the last 10 years I have learned that one concept within the English speaking community is almost universally misunderstood. This is the description of extended family relationships.
I hear over and over again: “Now what exactly is a 3rd cousin?”, “What does removed mean anyway?” I would bet that unless you have been doing family history for a long time (and if you are honest) you have this same difficulty. There are numerous websites on the internet devoted exclusively to explaining the nuances of the current nightmarish system.

I would like to propose once and for all a “solution” to this common problem in the English language. The solution is simply to substitute the word “GENERATION” for the word “GREAT” and the nightmare simply disappears!

True, the solution may take a few generations to be universally accepted yet it would be a “great” (pun intended) boon to the English language.

Now before you dismiss this proposition totally, I do not wish to say that your ancestors are any less great than mine. I have many great grandfathers and great grandmothers as I’m sure you do (I even have some great-uncles and great-nieces!). They were fine people. They were honest, hard-working, and God-fearing. I respect almost all of them (any family has its exceptions), but that is where the use of the word “great” should stop.

Now returning to the pedagogical nightmare of teaching extended family relationships, it should be easy to understand that if you and another person share a 3rd Great-Grandfather, that you are 4th cousins (or is it 2nd cousins, or removed cousins???  ). It should also be easy to understand that if a person is the child or parent of a cousin that makes them once removed (or is it???). Are you confused yet? Most people are.



 
Let’s now get back to basics:

To be related to someone else you must share a common ancestor or be married to someone who shares a common ancestor. This should be universally understood, yet it is not. If I share a father (or mother) with someone we are siblings. If we share a grandfather (or grandmother), we are cousins. It is as simple as that. Two people cannot be related unless they share a common ancestor.

Now for the new concept. If myself and another person share a 1st generation grandfather, we are first cousins. If we share a 2nd generation grandfather, we are 2nd cousins. If we share a 3rd generation grandfather, we are third cousins. It is a simple as that.

The only confusing part was the word “great”. The word should be abandoned all together. In doing so the pedagogical nightmare simply disappears. A great-grandfather is nothing more than the father of my grandfather. Why not call him a 2nd “generation” grandfather ? Everyone that shares the same relationship are 2nd cousins. Hallelujah! (or eureka for the secularists among us!)

For other examples 3rd cousins share a 3rd generation grandfather; 5th cousins share a 5th generation grandfather 20th cousins; share a 20th generation grandfather. It is simply amazing! Nothing has changed except the word great has been dropped.

The larger question is why this concept has not been standard for years. It is so simple and avoids all the confusion!

Now for the concept of “removed”:

We established above that to be related two people must share a common ancestor. Removed simply refers to the number of generational steps to arrive at that ancestor. If I go back five steps to a common ancestor, I am “five steps removed” from that ancestor. If another person goes back two steps, he is “two steps removed”.

If I have five steps, and another has two steps, we are three times removed (five minus two). You then call the relationship by the smallest number (closest relationship). In this case 2nd cousins (second grandfather) 3 times removed (five minus two). It is simple subtraction.

The daughter of my 1st cousin is my 1st cousin once removed (2 steps from me to my grandmother vs. her 3 steps). Her granddaughter, is my 1st cousin, twice removed (2 steps for me, 4 steps for her), etc. The 1st cousin relationship says the same since I am the closest relationship to my grandmother (my grandmother vs. her 3rd generation grandmother).

So once and for all, replace the word “GREAT” from your great-grandfather. Call him your 2nd generation grandfather instead. He will not be offended. I promise you! Neither will your 8th great-grandmother be snubbed if you call her your 9th grandmother. Remember she loves you for who you are. She will at least now know that you know who she is!

The concept works equally as well with nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. Instead of having a great-niece, you have a 2nd generation niece, instead of having great-grandchildren, you have 2nd generation grandchildren. Vo-la! Simplicity!

Family relationships become simple, love increases in the home, and there is harmony in the family life for generations as we simply delete the word “great” and used the word “generation” instead. Spread the word!


Examples:

1. My 2nd great-grandfather is my 3rd generation grandfather. All of us with the same relationship are called 3rd cousins.
2. My 8th great-grandfather is my 9th generation grandfather. All with the same relationship are my 9th cousins.
3. If I go back nine grandfathers to Jessie James, and you go back seven grandfathers to the same infamous train bandit, we are seventh cousins (smallest number), twice removed (nine minus seven=two).


Post Script:

As someone marries into the family they become an “-in law” because marriage is a legally (i.e. law) recognized relationship. If a man married my sister, he is now my “brother-in-law”. If a woman marries my cousin she is now my “cousin-in-law”. It is much clearer to refer to those persons as simply the “spouse of my sister” or the “spouse of my cousin” but we will leave that for another day.