** Added the part in caps to show that I originally put this thread in autosomal DNA which is where I wish it stayed. I could care less about private trees if there is no DNA testing. It's just if you know you're going to end up on someone's list as a potential relative, there should be some way for each side to vet the match without having to grovel to the owner of the private tree.

I'm betting this issue has been addressed before but a cursory search didn't show what I was looking for. I've got more than 4500 matches, too many to manage, and I'm becoming increasingly irritated with all the private trees as I try to wade through all my matches. I'm thinking of deleting all those with private trees and wondered if they'll still be able to see me? If so, I'd like an option of removing the link completely since it burns me to think that they can get all they need from my tree but not reciprocate.

Also, why so many without trees? I'm not deleting them in hopes they just haven't started building their tree yet. Could they have just wanted the Ancestry results?