I think this is Jehiel & Harriet with their children in these census:

1850 Genoa, Livingston, MI

Jehiel Helms 34 NY
Harriet 28 NY
Jas 6 NY
Wm 4 NY
Sarah 0 MI

1860 Hudson, Lenawee, MI

Jehiel Helms 44 NY
Harriet 39 NY
James 16 NY
William 14 NY
Sarah 10 MI
Albert 8 MI
George 5 MI
Harriet 3 MI

1870 - but where is Jehiel ? Hudson, Lenawee, MI

Harriet "Hohner" 49
Harriet L 13
Sarah E 19
George A 15
Rosella 8 MI
ELIZABETH MCNUTT 73 PA

note that James is not with the family. There is a James Helms age 25 b NY with wife Mary age 20 b England in 1870 Vincennes. Indiana Marriage Records show he married a Mary Hudson 01 Nov 1869 in Knox Co, IN.....this could be him. There is a later marriage record 09 Oct 1888 to Anna D Grote in Knox Co IN, his father Jehiel & mother Harriet "McKneitt". In 1900 Patoka, Gibson, IN there is an Anna D Helms b Oct 1854, widow, with children Robert M 9 & Ada M 6. In 1910 she is back in Vincennes age 55 with Robert 19 & Ada 16. So it would appear that the James living in Vincennes was indeed the son of Jehiel & died before 1900....????

1880 - Harriet says she is a widow - Hudson, MI

Harriet Helms 56
Oatus Lester 27 son-in-law b NY
Harriet Lester 23
George Helms 24

1900 Hudson, MI

Peter Sones 57 Feb 1843 MI married 1875
Sarah 50 Feb 1850 MI
Wilfred J 17 Jul 1882 MI
HARRIET HELMS 77 mother-in-law Jul 1822 NY

The informant on Harriet's death certificate was Mrs. Peter Sones. Harriet b 01 Jul 1821 d 28 Mar 1908 in Hudson

Some food for thought - if Harriet was widowed in 1870, 1880, & 1900 then the Jehiel who died in 1902 was not her husband. The Jehiel who is found in the Old Soldier's home in Grand Rapids in 1900 was admitted there 02 Mar 1886 so he should have been living elsewhere before that. There is one other Jehiel, living in 1880 in Fulton, Gratiot, age 57 b NY with a Musser family but could not find this Jehiel in any other census.

Maybe some of this will help a bit :) Vicky in AZ